New Demo--Critique please

Scott Davenport · **Voice Talent** Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 7

Hi Folks:

A while back I posted a demo and have since been studying with a really good coach. So this demo is the result of that experience. Any thoughts you have will be appreciated. I'd like to believe it has been worth the time and expense, but I'm too close to it all right now to sort it all out. Thanks for your time, and your comments.

Scott

Scott Pollak · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008, 01:22 (GMT) Post subject:

Scott... I feel for ya, buddy. 15 listens at this point and no one has bothered to offer a critique. So let one of your namesakes go ahead and take the initiative.

For starters, I applaud you on working with Nancy Wolfson. I'm one of her past students and I can't say enough good things about Nancy. Thanks to her I recently landed one of the largest and most prestigious gigs I've had.

Now... about your demo:
- Initial impressions are overall positive, but you have a ways to go.

You have an interesting, unique, and very sellable voice. I like the character and gravelly edge to it that would work well in many applications, especially highbrow and elite spots like for Lexus, fine wines, investing, etc. All good there.

The demo itself, though, seems extremely one-dimensional to me. I never heard more than one type of delivery or one energy level. In short, I heard no diversity or range. If you just happened to exactly fit what I was looking for, then great, but if I had something a bit outside of what you're showing me here, then I wouldn't be convinced by your demo that you could do it (and personally, I'm betting that you COULD!).

By bits and pieces:
- The Ore Ida piece is a weak one to start with
- Followed by a piece that is WAY too long (the Black Angus)
- The babies piece (fertility monitor) is in your sweet spot. I'd consider leading off with it or Pearle Vision, both which are good
- Okay, so the wind energy spot is the ONLY one that doesn't sound exactly like the rest, but it's just not a good one for you. You don't sound at ALL like you're in any sort of comfort zone and the music is kind of .... well... icky and overdone.

Going from the Pearle piece into the depression piece, it all could have been the same spot. Same tempo, same delivery, same tone, same feeling.

I listened to your demo three times and then it hit me: You sound depressed in most of these. There's a MAMMOTH difference between low-key and sounding depressed. Try revoicing some of these, keeping the same soft-sell energy level, but LITERALLY put a smile on your face so we can feel that you're enjoying telling us about this stuff and not doing it because you HAVE to.

And while the Avalon piece is somewhat in the realm of what I could envision hearing you do, by that time I desperately wanted to hear something DIFFERENT! I wanted to hear something other than that one, singular delivery style.

Do I think you have a good voice? Absolutely!
Do I think you can be successful at this? Probably.
Do I think this demo serves you well? Absolutely not.

Just curious... has Nancy given you feedback on this demo yet?

All the best... from one Scott to another!

Scott Davenport · **Voice Talent** Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 7

Scott:

Thanks for your remarks. You actually share some of the same concerns I have. Strangely enough this copy and the direction on how to read it was coming live and direct from Nancy while I cut this demo, so yes, she is the one that set up the order, and gave final approval to have the demo guy to send this to me.

I'm not sure what you mean by "depressed" sounding, but I can assure you that with Nancy directing it was an intense session. That Black angus two-liner took nearly 3o minutes to complete. I have a follow up with her next month. Maybe being away from this business for many years will preclude me from getting back up to speed and actually having something and doing things that I can be proud of. Who knows, right?

Thanks again for your remarks, I was hoping you might show up to listen. Maybe the thing scared off the 54 others that took a look.

Besst,
Scott

Robert Jadah · **Voice Talent** Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 2627

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A BORING TWO-PART POST

Before even listening, Scott - and as an erstwhile student of Ms. Wolfson - permit me to suggest that she is an awesome counsellor for evoking the salesperson in you. I can imagine no better mentor for interpreting copy and striking the proper commercial words in the most evocative manner.
But...
It would have taken more than her wizardry and all the vocal alchemy in the world to get me to commit to selling cat food. Even with her best efforts, I cannot do it.
Ask me, however, to be an evil spirit waylaying a nascent saint, and I'm on it like ugly on a moose.

Which is where Nancy and I parted ways.
There is no way I can compete with the natural everyday deliveries of the Gilberts and Souers and Sheppards and the DeAndreas and the Pollaks and countless hundreds others. To spend thousands of dollars with Nancy in that pursuit is like enrolling a yak at tap-dancing school.

I'll go listen now, and will be back.
But beware the thought that a couple thousand dollars will immediately make your sound commercially viable.

Voice On!

Robert Jadah · **Voice Talent** Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 2627

PART TWO:
(You were warned)

To these ears, Scott, that just won't make it; and for all the best reasons: the voice and delivery steal the message.

With your depth and gravelly descents, you simply do not sound like the guy next door. Circa five seconds in, I'm so transfixed by your delivery that I'm oblivious to the message.
Nancy will disagree, but trust me (I've auditioned more than she has): the seekers want Ashton Kutcher, and will hit the STOP button on Patrick Stewart.

Now, the beef and hamburger people like that stuff, so the Angus spot works. But everything else is better done by Everyman Plus, and for you to chase it is a waste of time, money, and effort.

Aim for Hungry Man, network imaging, light trailers.
General Commercial will eat you alive. The competition is ferocious.

Voice On!

Scott Davenport · **Voice Talent** Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 7

Hi Robert:

Thanks for your direct comments. I really did not think spending money with Nancy would automatically make me a viable VO person, but I did think it would help. Perhaps my trust in her is misplaced because only one or two of the cuts on the demo are really me. And my normally "happy" approach to things (when appropriate) has been beaten out of me for the last 2 months. As Scott Pollack said, "put a smile in your voice and re--cut these", which is the exact opposite of the coaching I've gotten over the last several months. I suppose being away from this business for about 15 years has not helped. I knew it would be difficult to get back in. I guess the impossible will take a little longer.
Thanks for taking time to listen.

The Yak

Robert Jadah · **Voice Talent** Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 2627

It just all goes to show, Scott, how subjective the whole thing is.
To clarify my murky points, however (stabbed at after a painful Canadiens loss to Mr. Bigl's stubborn Bruins and much Moosehead solace):
- you sound fine,
- Ms. Wolfson is an excellent coach; I would certainly recommend her advice over mine, especially as it pertains to today's commercial sound,
- Personally, however, I'm not convinced you should chase the commercial sound,
- there are dozens of other ways to be a viable VO person

Now I'm really confused.

Voice On!