Feedback please

Jeff Corbett · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 01:05 (GMT) Post subject: Feedback please

This forum seems to be a great way for a newbie to get some honest, almost instant feedback. Here is my first demo/draft...

Thanks!
Jeff

George Karnes · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 02:53 (GMT) Post subject:

Jeff-
I am pretty green myself, but I noticed a couple of things.

First, you don't really vary your reading style at all for the different pieces. The only one with any change at all was the romance piece and it sounded pushed.

Second, you jump right into that first piece use your music bed to set up your vocal a little bit.

There are many others here who can add a lot. Listen closely to what they say.

Good Luck!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 03:30 (GMT) Post subject:

Hey Jeff, welcome! I was reading your question over on the Newbies page then came on over here to give a listen. For starters I think George hit the nail on the head in that there's absolutely no variety in your demo other than the one Gnosh spot that sounds a bit forced. Let me dig a bit further here...

But let me start by saying you're not bad, so as I pick and critique, don't get too torn up about it.

You have an announcer's voice which is okay for radio, but it's the kiss of death in voiceover. No one really wants announcers any more except for those hideous car commercials, and you don't have the in-yer-face pipes for that (neither do I). You do seem to have pretty much one range of delivery, and perhaps someone out there may be looking for that, but otherwise you're not gonna land too many gigs here.

I mentioned in another forum that I am absolutely convinced that a good actor or voice actor will win the job every time over a great voice talent who has no acting skills. I think you need to start making the painful journey from Joe Announcer to Neil Nextdoor. You need to start seeing the listener as you FEEL the script. In your clips here all you're doing is delivering a sales message. The VAST majority of leads here are looking for a real feeling for their pieces and the talent who can breathe life into the script will win out (unless the client is looking for the cheapest talent, which does seem to happen a bit too often here).

On your other thread Todd Ellis encouraged you to invest in some training and coaching and I second that. Go to some acting and voice acting classes. Listen to the demos of some of the honestly great talents here and elsewhere, being careful to weed out the many really awful ones. Practice, practice, practice, and forget everything you ever learned about announcing, broadcasting or radio. Think about winning me over as your best friend when you read, NOT about selling me something.

Best of luck.

Robert Jadah · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 03:41 (GMT) Post subject: Idol Thoughts

That's not bad at all, Jeff. Not bad.
But - as the others pointed out - you gotta shake that radio thing (which you do quite well, by the way.)
Local advertisers get free VO's when they buy a run from the radio station. So they don't come here looking for what they could get for nothing at the station.
You have to bring something different. I ditto De Boyz above.
Demo-wise, it's also too long. Every snippet runs on. Cut each piece to a few valuable seconds, bring on the variety, and do more of the Gnosh-type stuff.
You'll be fine.
Voice On!

Jeff Corbett · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 13:18 (GMT) Post subject: Thank you

Thanks a lot everyone. I really do appreciate the honest feedback. (Rather have brutal honesty than be lied to, that's for sure)

Work to be done, work to be done.
Jeff

Matthew Hinman · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007, 18:04 (GMT) Post subject:

Jeff,

I sympathize. My radio announcer comes out when I get in front of the mic, and it's a hard habit to kick. But, let me tell you, these guys like Robert and Scott give great advice. I'm just a starter, and their advice has proven very helpful.

I personally liked the more "romantic" section of your demo, since it sounded very natural and more in tune with your voice.

--
Matthew

Steve Saylor · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 02:11 (GMT) Post subject:

Just a couple of observations ...

The Gnosh read is the best, but not because of content or medium. It's because you slowed down a bit. You are probably a jock used to cramming 70 seconds into 60, so you are going too fast. Speed can be a substitute for intensity, but in this case, it only accentuates some of your problems. Try doing a couple of reads a little slower.

The slower read might also help the other ear catcher. Although you don't have a severe accent, your suuthernesss does shine in a few places. You might want to work on your the tone of your long vowels and not swallowing your hard consonants.

I also agree about shortening the cuts. The demo drags on a bit. I'm still working on this too, so I feel your pain. But you may only get a few seconds of a clients time before they move on. Make sure the first 15 seconds is powerful and fast.

You obviously have the chops, so do a lot of listening around this and other voice sites, and you'll hone your demo down to a very marketable work.