Now that I have my feet wet

Steve Saylor · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 01:38 (GMT) Post subject: Now that I have my feet wet

A couple of paying gigs later, I'm starting to realize how crummy my demo was. I took a stab at massaging it a bit here, but I'm beginning to think it needs to be scrapped and completely redone. I'd like some feedback from critical ears.

Any comments or suggestions are very appreciated!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 03:35 (GMT) Post subject:

For starters, Steve, what the heck is that opening 3-2-1 bit?? If it's supposed to be a slate, it just ain't working. Honestly I couldn't even understand the verbiage.

And from that point on I was underwhelmed by the demo. It's not a good one, Steve. Your opening "family portraits' piece is about as flat as it gets. You sound like you're an undertaker afraid to crack a smile. The California pizza piece was not good either. I'm not sure if you were going for hard-sell or energy or what, but it was, quite simply, a bad read.

I hate to sound like I'm ripping you to shreds, because I'm not. But I am ripping your demo to shreds. Steve, it's just a stinker. Your reads show no life, no real TRUE emotion although you attempted to fake it with some artificial inflection, and overall very poor production quality.

You really need to go back to square one on many things here, and the demo should be the last of them. You need training and practice. I do wish you well, though, my friend.

Robert Jadah · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 13:52 (GMT) Post subject: Hey, Saylor

I'll be Paula to Scott's Simon here, Steve.
(hey, four names in one sentence!)
That was a nice effort. The Dad thing at the end wasn't too bad: just short and dramatic enought to carry a small jab.
The voice is nice, too.
But your song selection needs work, Steve, and - for a demo - you will have to go to one of our Mad Mixers to put some better production into the snippets. It's hard enough to polish the vocal end; trying to become a production pro overnight is just too much.
And the delivery is a tad bizarre.
Listen, for example, to your dropped tones on "caring FOR" "3,000 MILES", and "specific AREAS", among many more.
Those are mysterious places for the bottom to drop out of the phrases.
You did your thing. There's hope.
Now, back to the drawing board.
Voce On!

Steve Saylor · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 15:46 (GMT) Post subject:

Victor Harris · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007, 16:03 (GMT) Post subject:

Steve, here is an example of better production along with tightning up your spot by 2.5 seconds with some time compression. U still have too much hesitation while speaking. Rehearse more and have it down before recording. Wink

J.S. Gilbert · Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007, 20:26 (GMT) Post subject: Wow

You got a couple of paying gigs? Who payed who? Weere the gigs From here? Where these gigs from people whose lives you saved? Are the companies still in business?

Just kidding.

I thought I had the rep for being the newbie shredder on here. What gives?

I liked your demos. I had been having trouble going to sleep and after the first 38 seconds of listening I was out like a light. God forbid don't do a radio spot becuase if people listen while they're driving there could be a fatality accident.

Read the posts. Go and take some acting classes. do some improv. Study commercials - radio and tv. etc., etc. , etc.