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Newbie would love constructive criticism

 
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Matthew Kile
Voice Talent



Joined: 28 Jun 2007
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 20:32 (GMT)    Post subject: Newbie would love constructive criticism Reply with quote

Hi this is my first attempt to upload demos. I would love some feedback so I can get better demos before I pay to join the site.
thanks so much.

http://voice123.com/matthewkile
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Scott Pollak
Voice Talent - Voice Seeker



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3828

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 21:36 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Matthew,

I'm going to be, or try to be, very kind here.

I'll answer YOUR question by posing one back at you. Did you read the 'sticky' at the top of this forum labeled "Random Thoughts for Newcomers"?

It really applies here.

Thanks.

Wink

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Scott R. Pollak
Warm. Real. Natural.

www.voicebyscott.com
SaVoa 07003
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Melba Sibrel
Voice Talent - Voice Seeker



Joined: 22 Dec 2004
Posts: 661

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 21:44 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matthew,

I want to be sweet, for reading your web page indicates you're probably very sweet. But your cart is about 8 steps ahead of your horse. I did check out your page, and it's far too amateur for you to even be considered for serious work. (Though I did find your monstor truck spot with your faux reverb amusing...I also felt embarrassed for you)

To pay the premium membership fee would be a waste for you. To go pay money to have a demo produced would be a waste right now. You would first need a lot of help (teaching/coaching) from a qualified VO artist who cares about helping new talent and not just supplementing their own income. Just having a pleasant voice is not enough to even begin. There has to be a raw acting talent already present. Be honest with yourself (you're clearly a man of great experience and intelligence) search deep inside: do you have that?

'Til then, I wish you well on your considerations. And if I'm ever in Jacksonville, FL's airport, I'll keep an ear out for you on the loudspeaker! And thank you for your service to your country.
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Matthew Kile
Voice Talent



Joined: 28 Jun 2007
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 21:51 (GMT)    Post subject: Thank you all so much Reply with quote

Thank you both for your criticism I will take that to heart. I think i need to listen to some more pro demos first which I didnt do before i posted mine (which was kinda stupid). Scott I heard your demos on your site and, wow now I understand what the sticky was talking about. just to read it didnt get the message through.
thanks again to you both and take care
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Bob Bergen
Voice Talent



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 224

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2008, 11:42 (GMT)    Post subject: Re: Newbie would love constructive criticism Reply with quote

Matthew Kile wrote:
Hi this is my first attempt to upload demos. I would love some feedback so I can get better demos before I pay to join the site.
thanks so much.

http://voice123.com/matthewkile


Hey bud!

Honestly, it's just a matter of you just aren't sure what the do's and don't's of VO is all about.

No worries!!! We all have to start someplace!! Wink

You need acting and improv classes. Listen to some LA represented demos on voicebank.net. Study, study, study!

I'm in the business for over 25 years. I had 9 years of training before I was able to make a living at this. It isn't easy! And it takes a huge commitment of time, passion, and dedication. But if it's meant to be you'll do whatever it takes to make it in VO!

If you have any further questions or need advice, don't hesitate to pop me an e-mail at porkysvoice@aol.com.

BB
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Deby Cedars
Voice Talent



Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 1482

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008, 01:43 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well without even getting into the talent and content.... I listened to the first demo and I patiently waited through the first 4 bars of music.....after the next 4 bars of music I wondered if there would ever be a voice????

If the seeker wants to hear mediocre country guitar music he will turn on the radio. I think a lot of seekers might turn it off after the 2nd bar of music before even getting to your voice.

Also it's kind of like a never ending drum roll. If the audience has to wait through all that anticipation....something spectacular needs to explode in front of them.


I do like the tires are bigger than your Mother inlaws butt line. But it's still not a demo.
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Frank Cabanski
Voice Talent



Joined: 12 Dec 2005
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008, 01:38 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matthew, nobody is going to be able to give you an accurate critique of your voice acting skills in those demos because the demos are poorly produced. That creates such a negative impression that your voice is lost in the shuffle.

As someone else mentioned, there's too much lead music. A demo is you, not music.

I'd think the guy in the first demo was more appropriate for a movie trailer or monster truck commercial than the guys in those demos.
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