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okay, tear it apart!

 
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Andrew Locke
Voice Talent



Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 04:57 (GMT)    Post subject: okay, tear it apart! Reply with quote

so, here you have my first auto-attendant attempt.

if i could ask for your feedback, i would be much obliged.

be honest, be ruthless. Twisted Evil

thanks.

~a



01-greeting_finalA.mp3
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Scott Pollak
Voice Talent - Voice Seeker



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3828

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 05:59 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh geeze, Andrew.... critiquing an IVR message?

Well, if you insist:
- Popping p's all over the place
- Somewhat dated music
- more popping p's
- very low quality audio, as if saved at 32kbps or lower
- did I mention popping p's everywhere?

Your voice is alright, but it's a message on hold. Not much we can really tell from this.

I'd like to hear some commercials, narrations, anything else from you to be able to offer anything that would really matter.

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Scott R. Pollak
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Andrew Locke
Voice Talent



Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 06:35 (GMT)    Post subject: pressing popping p's please.....oh geeze Reply with quote

Scott

okay, so i'm practically eating the mic.
music - customer image = classic jazz themed wine bar
boy that mic tastes good!
32 bits - hit the nail on the head
oops, i think i swallowed the freaking mic

thanks for taking the time. sorry if you felt it was a waste. i appreciate it.

~a
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Cameron Thomas
Voice Talent



Joined: 06 Dec 2006
Posts: 479

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 13:24 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't think of it as a waste--it's just a steppingstone to improving.

Honestly, it sounded too stilted, or too one-word-at-a-time type style. Let it ffffflllllloowwww--like you're talking on the phone to an actual person. Don't worry, I have trouble with this as well but it's what came across right off the bat.

I'm turned off by messages that sound too forced--I appreciate a more casual, real tempo.

A non-forced Cheers,
Cameron

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Andrew Locke
Voice Talent



Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 13:35 (GMT)    Post subject: let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.... Reply with quote

thanx Cameron. one of the things i was concerned about as well.

i was wondering though, with phone systems compressed to 8000khz, 8 bits, if i don't annunciate a bit more clearly, will the message be intelligible? i've heard IVR's that sound muffled, and i guess i may be over-compensating.

~a
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Cameron Thomas
Voice Talent



Joined: 06 Dec 2006
Posts: 479

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 13:50 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

That may be a good point--I don't know really. Hopefully someone with more experience could weigh in on that--maybe in the geek section.

Cheers,
Cameron

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Scott Pollak
Voice Talent - Voice Seeker



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3828

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 14:07 (GMT)    Post subject: Reply with quote

Andrew, I didn't mean to imply it's a waste of time, but ordinarily it's pretty hard to critique something like this. A message-on-hold is not something that can showcase one's voiceover skills very much. Sure, we can glean a LITTLE from it in terms of voice quality and presentation to a small extent, but let's face it, saying "thanks for calling" isn't akin to reading a :60 script about a cancer survivor.

What we CAN tell from this that is more helpful is the technical quality and I've already addressed those.

So I apologize if I came across as negative. I'm sure I WAS, and I shouldn't have been. As I mentioned above I look forward to hearing more from you.

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Scott R. Pollak
Warm. Real. Natural.

www.voicebyscott.com
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Andrew Locke
Voice Talent



Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008, 15:30 (GMT)    Post subject: Thanks Scott... Reply with quote

i wasn't trying to get an apology out of you. i just really don't want to waste people's time. the advice and ideas i've gotten through this forum are priceless and have helped me land this first gig.

i truly appreciate the fact that you took the time on the LOWLY IVR demo.

i'll provide some more interesting media soon.

~a
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