CRITIQUE MY DEMO PLEASE!

Casey Zempel · **Voice Talent** Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 7

Lay it on me. . .

thanks

Lee Kanne · **Voice Talent** Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 129

I think overall, pretty darn good!!

1) I didn't feel your strongest spots were at the beginning, which is where I believe they should be
2) I didn't totally buy the first spot, it sounded kind of "announcery" to me
3) I think you could have had a little more fun and maybe gone more over the top with the second spot

Casey Zempel · **Voice Talent** Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 7

Thank you for the feedback! Which spots do you think I should lead with? Keep the feedback comin'

!!!

Thanks,
casey

Casey Zempel · **Voice Talent** Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 7

C'MON- gimme some more! Please. . . Very Happy

Tom Pagnotti · **Voice Talent** Joined: 18 Jul 2007 Posts: 220

Hey Casey:

You asked for critique – so here ya go:

I think you have a great vocal quality – and if properly trained you could do some wonderful “guy next door” sort of voice acting.

Your voice is clean and young. I like it.

But I felt that all of your reads were… just that – reads. Pretty good for a radio read but probably not what a major agency would look for.

Spot one: (build something) … this was a great opportunity to show “real guy” stuff. If you were describing a passion to a friend – would you deliver the lines in the way you did on that piece? I think I would have liked to have heard more excitement in your voice as you describe what was supposed to be a “guy satisfaction” moment. Does that make sense? The line “it just feels right” was an emotion line and yet your delivery was flat.

Spot two: Here the humor in the copy didn’t at all translate in your read… the dude looks ridiculous in that outfit, no? Yet there was no “don’t I look dopey” (embarrassment or amusement) in your read. It was in fact – just a read.

Spot three: I almost felt that it was out of your vocal range. It sounded as though you were straining. I think that your sweet voice spot is likely the tone of your first commercial and Bullseye sports. To me, that’s where you sounded best vocally.

Last thought: The Jerry’s small engines spot sounds like something (client wise) that you’d hear on a local radio station. You probably want to try to avoid that – I’d ditch it all together.

If you’re working full time in radio and have an income flowing – put some $$ away and go out and get yourself a good coach. (I have a couple suggestions if you want to know PM me). A good coach will cost you good money – but he’ll really help to improve your game. Eventually all the money ya spent comes back to you in higher profile better paying gigs.

Good luck Casey.

Best Regards,

Tom

Jenna Sharpe · **Voice Talent** Joined: 19 Sep 2007 Posts: 46

I think it is well performed and well mixed and you cram a lot into 1 minute. You do sound like a trustworthy guy next door.

However, I don't find your accent particularly easy on my ears. I am being very nitpicky here I know but there were some words that weren't pronounced properly such as:

"angles line up... fwell"

"Fffloral Ffflipflops" Sounds a bit lazy

Mouth noise on the " now through Saturday"

"Voice: This ???? for Pet Scene" Was it move or movie?

"The New Drenaline?" Can't make out what the product name is here.

"Jerry's Small engine supply company" spot sounds a bit rushed and garbled

I think you would be great at those 'conversational' spots where you are talking to a friend or your wife about a product or service.

Casey Zempel · **Voice Talent** Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 7

Thanks guys! Now that's feedback I can use! Tom- PM on the way.
Jenna- thanks for being picky- the client(s) will more than likely be just as picky- right? Thanks guys and gals- if anyone else has anything they want to add. . .by all means! Very Happy