My first Demo! Please critique..gently

Cheri Lee · Mono Out 2008-3-28 9-9-13.mp3

Hello! I've been reading through the critiques here and have finally decided that it's time to post my demo.
I'm a bit scared!
But here it goes...please critique my very first demo for me!...and be gentle, it's my first time.

September Day Leach · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008, 20:53 (GMT) Post subject:

Hi Cheri!

Ok, as gently as possible...don't use this demo. The echoy thing with your voice is annoying and doesn't help. You've got a natural tendency to inflect down at the end of words, making copy feel sad. It's cool, you can overcome it. A lot of VOs from the Midwest have that problem, where as VOs from where I live in the South, tend to inflect upward constantly.

Your first spot is just bad. Too much echo and the copy is really bad. The music is waaay too low. You've tried so hard to be upbeat, it's just coming off really fake.

The Farmers Market bit...well, it's just kinda blah. Sounds like a corporate presentation, just delivering info. But better than the first spot.

The Nissan spot...better. Still has the echo though and you're putting emphasis on the wrong words.

Costumes...decent spot. The laugh was dreadful. If you're gonna be witchy, commit to being witchy.

Intruder Alert...by FAR the best spot in this demo. This is your best voice, tone, delivery. Try using this tone, using your chest and back of your throat to get that fullness and then bring some energy to it. And this spot is waaaaay too long for a demo.

Insurance..funny! nice accent. again, too long for the demo.

It's too long in general, Cheri, and I'm not convinced you have the voice to be a voice over artist. But, I think it's definitely worth your time to take a class or two and pay a visit to VoiceBank.net to listen to the female voices there and start being a parrot. Mimic what your hear and then make it your own. Take everyone's criticism and a big ol' grain of salt and see what works for you. That intruder spot tells me that you have some potential! Wink

-September

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008, 20:57 (GMT) Post subject:

I'll be as gentle as I can, but honestly, you sound like you're reading. Not much life there. And that doesn't work for anything other than doing the small town mom and pop radio spot -- where you are mom and pop's daughter, you know?

On the bright side, I thought your monotone computer voice delivery on the meltdown clip was quite good. It's hard to be that even and monotone for many folks. The clip just went on forever. Far too long. The final clip, the insurance claim denial character, was also pretty good. Further, the delivery you display could work if you need to sound like a real person reading awkwardly, a la the Geico real people ads.

I don't think bright and bouncy or natural and conversational reads are your thing...not yet anyway...not by a long shot. Take some acting and script interp, maybe some improv and come back to VO when you've learned to tell me something rather than read a piece of paper.

Cheri Lee · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008, 23:17 (GMT) Post subject:

Well I can't say I'm surprised! I was leaning toward hating the whole thing except the last two bits, but you've sealed the deal for me! lol

Back to the drawing board

thanks for the honesty folks!

Connie Terwilliger · Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008, 23:30 (GMT) Post subject:

Cheri - before you go back to the drawing board, you need to spend some more time listening to other demos - frankly listening to anything and everthing that has VO. You need to be able to critically analyze what you are hearing - what is good and what is not as good - or not so good. Once you are able to hear the difference - once you really start to understand what differentiates one voice from another - then start understanding your own voice.

In order to make it in this business you must have an accurate understanding of what you bring to the table - as well as your potential. There are other things to know - do you have the technical ability if you plan to have a home studio (and frankly these days it is expected - unless you are a top talent in a major market) - do you have marketing skills - can you stand to be in a business where you don't know when or if the next job will come. Some people can't handle that. You need to do this kind of soul searching. I call it self-evaluation.

Use the resouces here on Savvy - especially this Critique My Demo area - lots to learn here! Listen to the demos - read the critiques. See if you can hear why a demo was critiqued the way it was. You should be able to start understanding when something is ready for prime time. The key is bringing all this home to your own voice. What makes it different? What makes it marketable? Where does it fit?

Hope this helps you evaluate this first attempt.

Cheri Lee · Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008, 00:56 (GMT) Post subject:

yeah, that's all wound up in what I meant by my proverbial drawing board Wink