Please offer your expert opinion

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

I just received my updated demos. Here is one that merges industrial and narration. Please let me know what you think....

Lee Kanne · **Voice Talent** Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 129

Hi Doug.

I thought your demo had an odd beginning. It's a narration demo, yet your first spot was only :07 long....I thought it could have been twice as long, at least.

The first word of the second spot got totally swallowed...I didn't under stand what you were talking about until the end of the spot.

I didn't hear much variation in your delivery until the Madagascar (?) spot...

you definitely have a marketable narrative voice

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Thanks for the feedback, Lee.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 14:20 (GMT) Post subject:

I'm no expert. But, noooo, I won't let that stop me from opening my e-yap. Laughing

I believe you could drop that first little clip and not lose a thing. The Madagascar is your warmest by far...I think I'd move it to the front. The miter saw instructional is also a good sound. But you might be able to break up the similarities between the skull clip and the homicide investigation show tease by dropping the lighter-hearted read between.

Like your tone -- authoritative, yet approachable.

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 16:49 (GMT) Post subject:

I think Melba's pretty much nailed it. The Madagascar read is the cleanest and sounds the best IMO. And her suggestion on breaking up those two similar reads is valid.

Some of the edits are a little choppy... it could be cleaned up... but all in all a nice showcase of your talent.

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Melba, you Dave and I seem to be in complete agreement here. I was waiting for somebody to articulate that. I agree that Madagacar is the strongest read, and given that voice seekers judge demos so quickly, putting it up front seems to be the logical way to go.

I have already edited out a segment that you didn't get to hear, because I never intended it to be under consideration for my demo in the first place AND it was paired with music that didn't go well with it. That might account for Dave's comment about choppiness, at least partly-? Before Melba's suggestion about moving that lighter segment between the two similar ones, I was thinking about putting something in there.

Great observations guys. Thanks for your efforts.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:09 (GMT) Post subject:

Critiques? We don't need no stinkin' critiques... Laughing

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

What do you guys think about a NFL-Films-style sports segment between the two most similar reads?

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:22 (GMT) Post subject:

Not sure how much call in the narratives casting world there would be for it, but that type of energy injected into the reel would certainly be worth considering. Might work really well. Try it and see how it sounds.

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Melba,

This is the unedited original, containing an NFL Films segment that I never dreamed would show up in my demo but my voice coach liked for some unknown reason. All it was to me was practice. Listen to how I say "victory" the second time. And does the music work with the listless delivery? I was thinking about maybe beefing up the delivery and pairing it with some NFL Films music.

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:34 (GMT) Post subject:

I concur.... but keep it real. Try not to slip into the "character" realm.

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

You guys are really great, by the way.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:47 (GMT) Post subject:

Well...I wouldn't use that NFL-ish clip. Your read sounds like a local radio sportscaster reading a script to me. You don't sound like you're telling a story and you do sound too laid back -- only the music background has energy. And the technical quality of the audio is too muddy. Makes it sound like it may be from 1981! Laughing

You know, you can inject more energy but still stay warm and fuzzy. Tell me a story that you can't wait to tell me...whether it's sports or wingnuts...it'll change my life...but lean in close so I can understand how excited I should get about it too. Maybe try the intensity born of whispering. Rather than announcering and narratoring. Laughing

(Silly word maker upper....)

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:47 (GMT) Post subject:

Doug,

Every person who hears your demo will have a different opinion, of course.

FWIW, Here's mine:

I'd lose the opening bit and start with "Madagascar". Then, "molding", "skulls", "NFL" and "murder".

The NFL broke those bits up nicely.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008, 18:50 (GMT) Post subject:

Oh, dear...Dave...we shouldn't fight in front of the Dougs... Laughing

Yes all are only opinions. Take anything I say with a grain of salt big enough to pass for Lot's wife. Verily.