Go ahead, I can take it....

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

It's my 2008 Commercial Demo...Give it your best shot...thanks...Oh no, here comes Pollak! Pray

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008, 02:40 (GMT) Post subject:

You're a brave man, Doug Parks... and I really appreciate your desire to grown, learn and take advice. There are many others on these boards who have a better ear and more wisdom and experience than I, but for what it's worth... here's a few thoughts (and I promise to try not to threadjack this time). Laughing

There were two cuts that seemed to really ring true and be a perfect fit for you. I absolutley loved the Smuckers read... you should be doing all their stuff... perfect delievery. A close second was the Disney Dreams... you just sounded very nice and warm and Disney-ish.

I liked the range, fun and dynamic of the Nyquil and Midway Airlines but I don't think I would start with them. The Ghirardelli was a nice change of tone although I didn't care for the way you said "Ghirardeli"... seemed to pick up a little twang somewhere in the middle... but, that's really no biggie.

I'm guessing that the Miller spot is your natural voice (which I would normally suggest leading off with) but I just don't hear you as a "beer" voice... didn't work for me.

I'm excited to hear a lot more range in this demo compared with your previous posts... very promising! Very Happy

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Thank you, kind sir. I agree on the placement of Ny-Quil. My voice coach thought I should lead with it, but I don't know that it has a leadoff sound AND I also am not sure every voice seeker would find it a positive and not annoying...I had to look up the pronunciation of Ghirardelli before I recorded the track, and I understand it's "Gear-ar-deli" though the way I actually said it might sound more like "Gearer-deli"...

Again, thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you didn't notice something in the demo that I thought would be considered a major flaw.

No, I'm not telling you what it is. Not talking

Lee Kanne · **Voice Talent** Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 129

Doug..

If it was me I probably would have arranged the spots differently, among a couple of other things. but,

MAN!!

I LOVE the sound of your demo...the vocal chain seems PERFECT for your voice....

I see you use an RE-20 an aphex 230 and a fast track pro...did you use that gear to record this demo? if so,I feel like going out to buy that gear TODAY!

I have a similiar voice and I've never been able to get my tracks to sound that tight...

do you ever use the preamps in the fast track pro? what software do you use?

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Lee,

So what would you have done differently? I'm open to suggestions....

Everything was voiced in my home studio using the RE-20, the Aphex 230 and actually, the MicPort Pro, with Audacity. I for some reason have not had any success getting my Fast Track Pro to work and am thinking of dumping it and replacing it with something else. The rest was done by Fresh Tracks Studio...

Thanks for the comments!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008, 15:12 (GMT) Post subject:

Well, since you asked...

Wink

You show a good range and diversity here that was missing in the other demo. You have a good voice that works in many arenas, and as is true for all of us, there are areas where you are obviously more comfortable and more in your 'zone', but there is nothing bad on here.

The length of the overall demo is just about right (I wanted to hear MORE, which is how you want to leave the client feeling) and the length of each clip is about right. If you could add just ONE more bit to flesh it out it would be helpful, but it's not a make or break suggestion.

Personally, I think your best one is the last one (Disney) and should be your opening piece. The Nyquil spot is an odd way to open since it takes a moment to figure out the character and initially it just sounds like a weird read. Once we get into the spot I think you did a good job of it but there's no way I'd lead off my demo with that. It's not your 'money voice'. I'd still keep it, but bury it somewhere in the middle simply to showcase diversity and range. But since it's one of your weaker ones on here, it should neither be the first or last thing the client hears.

I'm really on the fence with the airline thing. It's a good character voice, and it's really annoying. If you keep it, move it farther back, but you might want to consider replacing it with something that's not quite so much like fingernails on a blackboard. Ditto with Dave on the Ghiardelli. I swear you're saying "NEARER-uh-deli". Your voice is really good for that spot, but if you can recut it to clearly pronounce the JEAR-uh-deli, it'd be a good thang.

I'm not as wild about the Smuckers as Dave is. Here's the problem: You're going up directly against a VERY well-known guy who already is solidly entrenched in that branding. Take this character and roll it over into a spot where we're thinking more about this lovable old guy you're giving us instead of vacillating between your delivery and thinking "But... but... that's NOT the Smucker's guy...." As an example, even if I could really come close to, say, James Earl Jones in tone and texture, I'd NEVER take one of his pieces and revoice them on my demo because I'd ALWAYS be compared to his voice and could never, ever beat out the original. The delivery on Lite Ice needed more pep to me and the dated 70's background music should be taken out, stood against a wall, and shot.

Overall you have good stuff. You have a great voice and strong abilities. The demo is a good length, with nice variety. To my - admittedly very critical ears - it's still a bit like an unmade bed, though. Just needs some tidying up. If you use it as it is, it'll be better than about 50% of what's on these online v/o sites right now. Why not shoot for having it be in the top 10-20%?

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Scott,

Good points. I agree that I might want to open with Disney. And since you have suggested yet another pronunciation for Ghirardelli, I want to further research that and I might opt to re-record that. And you are SO right on about the Miller Lite Ice spot. It was supposed to have a an edge to it but instead my least edgy read was chosen and got teamed with that..that music Evil or Very Mad

. Glad you confirmed what was I feeling about it.

Hey, great stuff, thanks a million. And please Scott, weigh in if you would on the one you haven't weighed in on yet.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008, 15:40 (GMT) Post subject:

Sweet. Nice variety. Do the clean up and switch arounds that Scott, et al, suggest and it will be a really good demo, I think. It's a little messy right now. I concur on the Smuckers thing -- it's a wonderful tone and read, but is simply too recognizable to be copping for a demo. And opening with the Nyquil snuffly voice really isn't a good idea. We need to know who you are first.

For the correct pronounciation of Ghiradelli (it's a hard "g" but not gutteral; don't hit the "gear" hard -- flow over it) go to:
http://www.ghirardelli.com/media/video_timeless_tv.aspx

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Hey Mel,

Thanks for pitching in. Getting lots of good direction here.

OK, I won't hit the gear hard. Don't want to end up at Aamco. Wink

Lee Kanne · **Voice Talent** Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 129

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Thanks again Lee, totally agree adding the wife's voice to NyQuil would improve the way the spot sounds...I think it was edited out to conserve time. And yet Mr. Pollak suggested ADDING another segment. It's already at 1:11...what about that hallowed 60-second threshold for commercial demos? I wonder how often seekers listen past ten seconds, and how many go the distance.

Lee Kanne · **Voice Talent** Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 129

Doug Parks · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 227

Good idea. Thanks everybody for the input. By the way, I am about to post three complete spots that are set to go onto my website. Hopefully you will all offer your criticism again.