New Demo from New-bie

ricevoice · Joined: 07 Apr 2008 Posts: 33

I know, shocking that someone chooses a "critique my demo" as their first post. Very Happy

Just tweaked my commercial demo this weekend, putting in more of the "real person" type of read that my previous demo was kinda lacking. Please take a moment to check it out and let me know whatcha think. Thanks!

Robert Jadah · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 16:07 (GMT) Post subject:

If you're a newbie, Ricevoice, then I'm a tentacled blob from the planet Zargon.
You have today's sound and an infectiously enthusiastic delivery.
Good stuff.

The first :18 may sound too similar and roller-coastery. Why not move the Duracell up a few notches in the batting order?
To these ears, the whole sheBANG may also have run too long, creating a sort of ho-hum reaction to the last few bits, which are after all pretty similar to the rest.
I'd suggest you'd lose nothing by cutting it off at 1:06.

And I'm neither tentacled; nor from Zargon.

Blob On!

ricevoice · Joined: 07 Apr 2008 Posts: 33

Well, I am new to this board anyways! Very Happy

And I'm a newb from the standpoint of having just left radio to focus full-time on my voiceover and production business.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and give me some feedback! I'm glad you mentioned the Duracell spot... that's a new addition, one that I was hoping would show some range since my previous demo was more hard-sell oriented. Agreed that losing the last few would add to the impact of the rest of it.

Thank you, Robert... I really appreciate your time and advice!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 19:38 (GMT) Post subject:

Good stuff here.

Scott Pollak · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 19:53 (GMT) Post subject:

Lee Gordon · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 20:42 (GMT) Post subject:

Hey, "Jadah: Tentacled Blob from Zargon" is number one at Amazon this week! Not Amazon.com, THE Amazon.

Scott Pollak · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 21:06 (GMT) Post subject:

Lee Gordon · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008, 21:09 (GMT) Post subject:

Somebody's been playing with the graphics software.

I just want to let you know I have downloaded your threadjack warning and will not hesitate to use it in the future. (I would have used it just now, but that would have seemed redundant. Sort of like using "would have" twice in one sentence -- and again in the next one.)